so this channel started out a couple months ago as Sara Bareilles...

I've recently {by recently I mean in the last two days} listened to this for probly 20 hours.

but throughout the course of today, I've heard Journey, Barenaked Ladies, Jason Mraz, U2, Avril Lavigne, the Weepies, Boston, Smash Mouth, Matchbox 20, Coldplay, Mat Kearney, Toto, Linkin Park, Wham!, Britney Spears, Bruno Mars, Weezer, and probably some other crazy randoms.

yeah. good job Pandora. thank you for learning to play exactly the stuff I like. :)

Pandora=love. that list of artists is my Music Tuesday. I have a feeling I'm going to exploit that channel a lot on my 10-hour drive home next week.

ps Provo- by the way, it's Spring. stop snowing.

... it's not even a very good wish list. it's really just a list of things I wish I were doing right now. instead of all my other really important stuff.

• going to Kinko's to print out my dumb photo calendar. I need to get that done!!
• going to my grandma's house in Spanish Fork to pick up all my winter clothes
• going out to eat somewhere delicious. like Gloria's Little Italy. mmmmmmm...
• discovering new music
• going Halloween costume-hunting at DI. and by hunting I mean really just hunting for a piece of my costume. I've already got this...

so, three days into the semester and I already hate it.

well, technically I hated it on day one, but whatev.

in all honesty, I've always really liked school. {yes I'm a nerd, I know.} but this year, as I was sitting in one of my classes on Monday, I just kept thinking, "I hate this. I don't want to learn anymore. can't I just be done with school??"


which is, obviously, a terrible way to feel on the first day back. but I've since speculated that Spring term burnt me out. Summer just wasn't long enough for me, I guess.




...but I really shouldn't complain. the boyf has waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more going on in his class schedule than I will EVER have, now that he's in his junior core. and I totally feel badly every time I complain. he just patiently listens to me mope and whine, while he secretly has about a zillion and twelve other  more important things he should be doing.

I'm seriously so lucky.
in happier news, I'm going home this weekend!! totally random, right?? I know, I keep forgetting, too. my dear friend Derik, who recently returned from a mission in New Zealand, is trekking home for the long weekend. I forget his real reason for going; I just know I'm along for the ride. Heidibear or KennaJane may be coming with, but Heidi is really sick now so she may be out. and Kenna never decides anything till like the day before. plus she may have work.

I'm a lil sad about missing the first home football game of the season and my reunion with my FOL children & husband, but now that BYU's going independent next year, I've got that too look forward to now.

:)



PS: my posts from now on will prolly be pretty scattered for the next, um, two semesters. ha. sorry Charlie. like I said, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Okay, for my Daily Universe/News Reporting class, I'm on the Sports Desk covering the Baseball beat. That was my first choice, so I really can't complain. It's been sort of nice in that I really don't have to go out looking for stories. I just do previews and recaps of all the games.

Probly the most frustrating thing for me is the fact that, in seven weeks, we're sposed to write 15 stories.   In about two and a half weeks, I've written twelve. And that's a little bit ridiculous. The past two Wednesdays have been all but Hades for me, and I've had three stories due both days. All the other reporters are totally struggling to even get to two stories a week. NOT FAIR.

But it's been kind of a running joke on our desk that I pick up everyone else's slack. The other sports editors have maybe eight or ten stories done when I'm at twelve. But like at our desk meeting today, someone jokingly said, "Oh, Haley, there's a press conference in like ten minutes, can you cover it?" Because I do that kind of stuff. People rely on me and I get crap done.

Like the Jimmer Fredette story I wrote on Monday. My editor sent out a text at like 10:30 a.m. asking if anyone could cover his press conference at 12:15 p.m. Granted, it was a super cool experience and I don't regret it at all. But once I got back from the conference at like 12:45 p.m., I wrote the story immediately, had it finished and edited by like 2:00 p.m., and it was online by 2:30 p.m. Ri.Di.Cu.Lous. I just do so much more than the other reporters.



Enjoy peeps. Peace out till the next time I come up for air.

Well, so much for Spring. It snowed today. But it sure looks beautiful outside my window right now. Despite the fact that it's probably close to 50something degrees out.

I guess I've sort of put blogging in the very back of my brain after the Blog Fiasco of That One Monday Night. (For deets, ask.)

But I am taking classes this term. Which is definitely a new adventure for me. I'm a Media Law class (blehhhhhhh) that's two and a half hours Tuesday and Thursday nights. Yikes, it's a rough one. Not that the class is boring, I'm just a clock-watcher. And watching the clock for 150 minutes is hard! Plus that gives me waaaay too much time to pick at my ever-growing split ends.

I'm also in a News Reporting class. Basically we are the staff of the Daily Universe. I can't blog/tweet/Facebook about anything I report on until after it's published, and that's been a serious challenge for me. I can tell you I'm on the Baseball beat so I get to report on all the BYU Baseball games... Now, don't start feeling bad for me. I'm actually super excited for it. I am in love with all things baseball (yes ladies, I love baseball for more than just the pants). I'm missing work for a few days and flying to San Fran in July to go to a Giants game with my fam, if that's any indication of my love.
But for this class, I've already written three stories in the first four days. And next week I have four more due- Thursday's my only free day. It's totally insane, but way more fun than any class with readings and tests and studying stuff.

But I'm really glad this is only lasting 7.5 weeks. 6.5 more weeks. This first week's already over. :)

New song! "Half of my Heart" by John Mayer ft Taylor Swift. Despite my not-so love for Taylor Swift, my love for John cancels that out and this song is totally perfect right now. Don't you LOVE it when that happens? Theme songs are the best. :)

Okay. Why I love it so. Other than the fact that it's John Mayer and it's just a good song. Soooo... There's this {boy}. Yes from the Riv ward. (Psh, I don't have friends anywhere else) Anyway, he's just one of those really great guys that everybody loves a little bit. I've had a crinkle on him for a little while now, but really nothing more than that. I think Chantelly even liked him for approximately 3.2 seconds. But one of my really really great awesome sweetheart friends likes him lots and lots. I don't want to like this guy, but I always end up falling for my guy friends. And that makes me sad. So like this song, "Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation. Half of my heart takes time. Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you that I can't keep loving {him}, with half of my heart."  And I feel like we are way too close of friends for anything to come of this.  Too many people would get hurt or feel weird or left out.

And now he's far away. Like the rest of my friends. But I did get to hang out with some of them twice this week. That was fun. And I'm going back on Sunday night for Game Night.

Ha. But like the last song, "You don't know what you've got till you're missing it a lot. I had to go throw it away. I was wrong from the start from the bottom of my heart, I apologize. What I did to you was hurtful, what I'm going through is hurtful..."

Thank you Erik Hassle and John Mayer for telling my life story. I 'preciate it lots, boys.

... Well, except for last night.

Last night, we had our Etiquette final. Complete with a formal dinner and table service from our classmates. Ha. That was some good eatin' and fun times.

... But my other finals equal death.

I have my MCom final tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. Seriously. I'm pretty sure someone at the Testing Center wants me dead. And none of my finals are in the same place either. MCom is scheduled, Etiquette was last night (on a Reading Day, no less), New Testament is in the Wilk, Marriage & Family is online, and Personal Finance is in the Testing Center. Who does that!?!?

But just about an hour ago we had our Student Employee Appreciation luncheon at work. I love work parties. They always involve great food, lots of yummy fruit, and cheesecake squares. Just before it ended and we all threw our plates away, someone notice just how many cheesecake wrappers were on my plate.... There were eight. Afterwards when we were figuring out the leftover food situation, someone commented that I'd just finish off the rest of the cheesecake squares. :( I mean, not that I regret eating those squares, I just don't want to be known as the Cheesecake Vacuum at work. I know I'm not a fatty, but those stupid Raspberry White Chocolate Swirl cheesecake squares are my Kryptonite.

This post isn't going to be long. I'm tired and I need to study. I'll let you know how everything goes when I return to the surface for air. For now, I'm swimming in a sea of books & study guides & reviews. If anyone wants to lend me their oxygen mask that would be awesome.

So I've been thinking lately.
Actually I've been thinking about this for a while now. Ever since, eh, middle of last semester.

PR has done strange things to me.

Kind of like that song from Toy Story about the "Strange Things are Happenin' to Me" when Andy's room gets taken over by Buzz Lightyear stuff and replaces all the Woody Western-cowboy paraphernalia. That's how I've felt.

Since taking my PR and Comms classes, I've become sort of an introvert. I hang out with all these crazy social people and I just sit back and watch everything happen. Whereas last year I would have gone way out of my way to talk to anyone and everyone who looked even remotely fun. But this year is a totally different story. And I hate it. I wish I was the fun-loving awesome person I was last year.

And all of these crazy social people are stretched soooooooooo ridiculously thin it's kind of sickening. Like, all the people I know in the PR program, all the really prominent ones anyways, all the ones that are going to get the fabulous internships are
1) on the Executive Board of PRSSA
2) at least working in the Bradley Lab if they're not Account Managers too
3) full- or part-time interns
4) work in BYUSA, usually as Executive Directors
5) involved in approximately 87 other PR related things like newsletters or National Conference or National level PRSSA junk.
6) full-time students
7) {mostly} have some sort of employment

And I will never do all of those things at one time.

I struggled enough trying to balance school and PRSSA and being {halfway} involved in BYUSA & Bradley. And I was a nobody in all of those. I couldn't imaging holding any position of authority.

And part of all of this introversion may be due to the fact that I lost practically all of my friends aside from my roommates {stupid missionaries}. 

I'm also seriously considering dropping my dance class. Like I told my roommates, I've never apologized more in a two-hour period than I did on Monday. I was embarrassed for myself and how sucky I was. And it's not even like I'm only struggling with the new dances. Yes Mambo is freakishly hard, but I struggled with Foxtrot too. Which I shouldn't. I've done that in two previous classes. Also the bruises and broken toenails are really painful and starting to annoy me. And I can't even blame those on anyone else because I'm the one that keeps getting underneath everyone's feet.

Part of me is afraid that I'm just quitting. Like, in all honesty, school isn't hard for me. It never has been. And I like it that way. But really, this class SUCKS. And I'm not good at it. And I feel like I won't be, no matter how hard I practice. Maybe if I stayed in the class, I'd get to be really good at some point and I'd be really happy as an amazing dancer. {But really, who would I dance with?? None of the average Joes I associate with actually get up to these levels} But maybe I'd get a C in the class and be the most miserable person there. And I hate that those are two very extreme endings.

Both my mom and dad said, pretty much word for word, "Well, if there's not some cute boy you're staying in the class for, I'd get out now." Ha.

My dad was much more understanding about my dropping the class than my mom was. I think my mom thinks I can still do this. She's always thought I was a beautiful dancer. Which is a lie and has been for the majority of my life.

Ha. Happy week everyone. Hope yours is going a lot better than mine. :/

So working technically started last Friday, but we actually started working on site on Monday. It's basically just me and Nichole Henderson. And our boss Rick Smoot. And when he's not there, his picture beautifully drawn by Nichole in Sharpie on a styrofoam plate watches over us. Oh, and the afternoonies that come in and help with lunch/teacher afternoon snack, Rick's son-in-law and daughter/other employee.
We work for Too Fat Sandwiches catering at Sequoia Middle School for their teacher inservices and training days.
Rundown of my seven-hour work day:
Breakfast.
1) Put bagels and muffins/doughnuts and danishes on to pretty plastic trays and set them out.
2) Get out packets of butter, cream cheese, and jelly for the bagels.
3) Set out bowls of apples and bananas
4) Fill a bowl with ice and put in a zillion yogurts.
5) Find the utensils box and put forks, knives, and napkins into wicker baskets at the end of the tables
6) Put the individual-sized cereal boxes into a large bowl.
7) Fill a bowl with ice and throw in a gallon of milk.
8) Take frozen juice boxes out of the freezer, put them in a foil pan, and pray they turn into juice not slushies by the time the teachers come.
9) Rick puts out the toasters some time during all this.
10) Get out creamers, sugar, tea bags, and stir sticks for the coffee and tea.
11) Take plastic wrap off the scones and melon. Oh yeah, put out the tin of scones and bowl of melon.
12) Fill up a bus tub with ice and throw in some water bottles so the picky teacher folks can have their cold water. Psh whatever.
13) Double check that everything is out. Today we forgot the juices and some crazy was severely upset.
14) Breathe.
15) Fetch the bus tubs from the classrooms from the day before. (more to come about those...)
Then the teachers come. Usually from 7:20 to 8:00am. We restock everything several times. Especially doughnuts, yogurts, milk gallons, utensils, bagels, and juices. Teachers eat much yogurts. And that part SUCKS.
Some time during breakfast Rick heads back to the restaurant to get ready for lunchie lunch. Then after they leave for their classes, we breathe some more. Today we had dance parties/karyoke with Nichole's iPod & iHome. That was fun. We got all the way through her playlist of a trillion songs. From Billy Joel to Billy Joel.
Then they come back in for their "morning break". Basically another chance for them to gorge themselves with crap food. And yogurts. We restock some, but not as much. Whatever's out is what they get pretty much.
And that part is only crazy because we get crazies asking what's for lunch (when sometimes we don't even know) and asking why the coffee or melon is gone. Ummmmmmm you're eating lunch in like an hour! Get over it!! Dumb-Dummyheads.
So then after the endless amount of teachers get their 2nd breakfast/"morning snack" we clear everything out. Oh, and Rick comes back with lunch. In the cafeteria, one table becomes two. One breakfast line becomes four. Inevitably, there are a gajillion doughnuts and some muffins leftover from breakfast.
Lunchie-Lunch.
1) Set out utensils. Forks, knives, spoons sometimes, napkins, and plates.
2) Set out salt and pepper and butter cups.
3) Bring out varying numbers of chaffing dishes. Monday we used 8, yesterday only 4, and today 6. And Rick told us tomorrow we're using 8 again.
4) Make salad. (BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE DAY)*
5) Separate rolls and throw them in a bowl.
6) Usually drain water from ice bowl and restock ice and water bottles. But we do that several times a day not just at lunch.
7) Fill bowls with ranch and italian dressings and various condiments. Today for the deep pit we used BBQ sauce and salsa.
8) Open freezer box with the sodas so the teachers can get to them without asking us ever 4.7 seconds.
9) Cut (often times sucky frozen) cakes/separate brownies/scoop pudding/do whatever's needed for dessert that day and put them on little dessert plates to go out front.
10) Umm... I think that's it. Breathe again. Oh! But all prep is doubled because there are now TWO tables, not just one. Suuuuuck.
* Making salad is the best part of my day. Not restocking it, but the initial preparation of it. Okay these bowls are fan.tas.tic. Like 3+ feet wide. FILLED with salad. And we mix them by hand. I feel like a kid in a sandbox with these salad bowls. Except I never liked sandboxes as a child, so maybe this is my proxy sandbox.
So lunchtime=lots more restocking. We restock salad probably 4 times, rolls about the same, utensils and plates at least twice, dressings a lot too. And we don't even deal with the main dishes. Rick & the afternoonies deal with all of that. After all the groups of teachers go through the line, Nichole and I get lunch. :) Another good part of the day. We get Monday-chicken and tri-tip , Tuesday-lasagna, Wednesday-deep pit, Thursday-enchiladas, & Friday-sandwiches. After we eat, Nichole and I start washing dishes/minimal clean up, and Rick & the afternoonies eat. Then the teachers leave and we clear everything out/clean up/wash much dishes.
Once the cafeteria is clear, we start the "afternoon snack delivery". Basically we put brownies/granola bars/rice crispies/cookies (depending on what day it is) into plastic sandwich boxes, and load up the requested amount of water bottles into the bus tubs and deliver them to the individual classes. Now remember, this stuff is delivered less than an hour after the biggest lunch/buffet they've maybe had in years. Teachers are eating machines and severely obese because of it. So we deliver the bus tubs full of goodies. Yesterday when we were delivering the rice crispies, one crazy basically snatched the plastic tin out of my hands so she could be sure to get a crispie treat, not a granola bar, because we had half granola bars & half crispie treats.
Clean-up time! Usually there's a few dishes to be done, a few counters to be wiped off, a few boxes of salad or buckets of dressing still out from lunch to be put away, a few random water bottles outs. Seriously, we never know where they come from or who's they are. They just appear.
OH! And a few doughnuts still not eaten. Let me rephrase that, a few HUNDRED doughnuts leftover from breakfast still. And they stay out aaaaaaaaaaall day, barely touched, and then get trashed at about 2pm. Sad for doughnuts huh? NO!! Not sad! If you saw or understood the amount of doughnuts we have every morning, you would probably cry. And they're not even great! They make us (me and Nichole) sick. So we are on a No-Doughnut Diet as of tomorrow. Doughnuts=Satan.

That's it. SO much to do and I just wanted to be distracted for a minute.
But while I'm distracted, let's make a list of everything I have to get done in the next less-than-two weeks.
1) Do 10000 extra credit assignments for Psychology/Music 202/Government. Be a test subject, go to the MOA, go to Easter Conferences, write papers, etc.
2) Read this DUMB chapter for Government. I was super proud of myself because I read it yesterday (or, so I thought) but then I looked again and I read the WRONG chapter. So 50+ pages of my life wasted, and 40+ pages still to go.
3) Take a test. for Religion. Not too hard, but I still have to study.
4) START studying for said test.
5) Start studying for another test next week in Music 202. Aka start listening to a ton of strange 1900s classical music that just sounds like ugly screeching cars to me.
6) Start studying for my zillion finals. Actually four, but I still should have been studying a looong time ago.
7) Figure out when all the review sessions for these finals are going to be and somehow work them in to this schedule.

Things I got done/Fun things in my life
1) Divine Comedy/Pizza Party tomorrow night for all BYUSA volunteers! :)
2) I bought an Easter dress and white heels! Go Easter!

Just add a cute white shrug sweater and brand-spankin' new white heels. :)
3) I watched Prince Caspian (aka Kenna's new boyfriend hahaha) with Ross. It was fun/funny. I forgot how much I liked that movie. And we ate chicken noodle soup/macaroni and cheese for lunch/dinner (linner? dunch?). In other words, he ate chicken noodle soup and my leftover macaroni.
4) I went to a bomb-awesome (can I say "bawesome"? I feel like that should be a word) devo this morning. BYU Combined Choirs performed. Uh. Maze. Ing.
5) Went to one review session :) Only a katrillion more to go.
6) Yesterday I went to this fireside for severely elderly people. And it was the FUNNIEST thing I've ever been to in my entire life. So many great great great old ladies with the best, randomest comments. Seriously, when I grow up I want to be a senial tiny old lady with no cares in the world and obsess over gypsies.
7) Got a new swimsuit!! My mom found it, and sent it to me in my enormous Easter Basket!! :) AKA- if anyone finds a reason to go to the Hot Springs, PLEASE let me know, kay?

Things I wish I was doing
1) Homework (well, not wishing I was doing it, but wishing it was done. But I don't even have that much.)
2) Playing with my family at the beach. Even if it is raining. And I DESPERATELY want to play horseshoes with AJ! :(
3) Eating dinner. Because I ate at like 3pm which was my lunch and now I'm starving again but have an appetite for nothing.
4) Playing in general. Or singing in a car somewhere. Or shopping.
5) Listening to the "Journey Bible" that Aubre let me borrow yesterday that I stupidly left in her car. Saddest thing EVER.
6) Dancing at Studio 600. Because tonight was FREE but it was only country dancing (bleh) so we didn't go.
7) Ummmmmmmm.... cuddling. But that sounds dumb.

The worst part of this whole experience is disappointment. And change. The combination of the two is just murder.
Great way to start out the semester, huh? Psh. Yeah.

I think..... I think I'm really good at not crying when it's really important to me. For example- I didn't cry at all when James broke up with me. Which is weird because that was by far the saddest I ever was in high school. Now, the saddest thing that's happened to me in college and I didn't shed one tear. Kind of annoying if you ask me. I just didn't think about it. At all. Which simply can't be healthy. I think if I sat down and really thought about everything going on in my life right now, I would probably cry for days. But I'm just physically not letting myself do it. Which makes me want to cry even more.

I told my friend the other day, I feel like everything I built up last semester, certain friendships, skills, studying habits, eating habits, everything is just falling apart around me. And I miss it like CRAAAAZY. I just want things to go back to the way they were last semester. Life was beyond perfect- and I took it for granted. Totally didn't know how good I had it. And now it STINKS.

I can't think of one part of my life that isn't confusing right now. Mmmmm.... actually, that's a lie. My testimony, the church, my calling, those kinda things. And C. She's always there. I couldn't imagine her not being there. Thank goodness I have a constant in my life. Otherwise I might go crazy. Or die like Desmond almost did and Charlotte's going to. lol "Lost" reference...

Just remind me every once in a while that change isn't such a bad thing. Last night I had a fabulous time hanging out with totally new people. As much as I sometimes refuse to believe it, there are new boys in my life. Incredibly attractive ones at that. I had an intense convo with E about marriage and dating and funny things like that. We have a new president. I eat... salad? Change won't kill me, and I forget that

But some things have changed for the worse- that can't be denied. Friends I never thought I'd part with are basically nonexistant in my life now. Friends I thought I wouldn't see for a long time suddenly jumped back in to my life and made things SO complicated. But that's not really such a bad thing either, I just wish the situation were different... Like I wish he were here. I desperately wish he were here. But that's just not possible.

I keep thinking about Rafiki in Lion King. "It doesn't matter, it's in the past!... Aaah yes, de past can hurt, but you can either run from it, or, learn from it!" I think that's what I need to do, not run from this, or, I guess, run back to it and try to desperately hold on to what I had, but learn from this. Move on, and love life just the same as before. At least, pretend I do. Ha. Pretend. My biggest weakness. I STINK at pretending. But for the sake of this blog, I will try. Very... very hard.

Theme song- Heartbreak World by Matt Nathanson :)