My life is random. As demonstrated by this.

Over the course of the last month, I've searched for:

• english translation of the macarena
• how far is a ragnar race
• official definition of "wanderlust"
• "cat tape experiment" YouTube
• "the bodyguard" soundtrack
• unabomber cabin newseum
• 90210 lori loughlin
• 2014 olympics schedule
• homeless man makeover
• ihop birthday
• maria callas
• green kate spade dress
• mckayla not impressed
• pumpkin haupia pie recipe
• how to pronounce sriracha

I was talking with my cute friend Janet the other day, and I'm only mildly embarrassed with how much I like Matchbox 20.

And I was only halfway kidding when I sent this to Emily the other day for her serious consideration.

All of this definitely makes me feel like a product of the 1990s.

Yaaaaay.


No matter how someone protests, if they are a) talking to themselves in public, b) have imaginary shadow friends, and c) hearing voices, you should have some major red flags.
"Unwell"

Stop trying to kid yourself, Rob Thomas. You are definitely insane.

But seriously -- how is such a mellow, chill song about such a crazy person???


Naivety and dreaming big is much more fun than being realistic and boring.
"Real World"

Be a superhero! Be your own boss! Be a weatherman? Whatever you want to be, live in your dream world and expect huge things from your life. You deserve it.

Don't let reality or your current circumstances get you down or tell you what you can't do.

End of rant.


True compassion and concern doesn't go away, even when they're faced with greater challenges.
"3am"

Now, I've heard this song is about his mom struggling with cancer, but I always thought it was just about this crazy, pessimistic, worry-wart, insomniac girl. Regardless, there's a woman, with a crappy life, who's still worried about you. She wants the best for you, even with such a negative outlook on her own life.

But in reality, the best way to help others is to first get yourself in a good place. Once you've conquered your demons and fought your personal battles, you are much better equipped to be there for others.

Favorite line: "She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway." 

... I kind of want a "Happiness" doormat.


Sometimes big city glam isn't all it's cracked up to be.
"Bright Lights"

Don't get me wrong, sometimes it definitely is (see, um, any of my posts about living in DC), but if you're moving on or out just to have "real life experiences" in the big city, you may want to reconsider your life choices.


Just because you're beautiful doesn't mean you can be a crazy person. Because he's not going to put up with your crazy anymore.
"Last Beautiful Girl"

Rats.


You can't be mean to people just for fun.
"She's So Mean"

Double rats.

Okay, just kidding. I think I already knew this one. I still kind of love this song.

... Why do I love songs about crazy girls??


Everyone has those loooooong (usually post-breakup) days.
"Long Day"

Not to sound too redundant (the song is called Long Day for goodness sake), but sometimes I tend to drag things out, dwell on things, whatever you want to call it. I think we all have those days where it takes all your energy to get out of bed in the morning, and best part of your day is getting to go back to bed that night.

That is this song.

Side note: This was also recently added to my "I just need a good cry" playlist. It's, like, kind of angry, kind of sad, pretty much just great.

PS I totally wish I could carry hope in my pocket in real life. That would be awesome.


Rob Thomas thinks a lot.
"If You're Gone"

Like 2/3 of the lines in this song start with "I think." I really wish he knew more and thought less.

But seriously, this is mostly just a cute get-back-together song.

Also the horns in this song remind me of like an old school Chicago song, which melts my heart a lot.
<3 Chicago and those glorious horns.


The end is coming!
"How Far We've Come"

Zombie apocalypse.
Are you ready?

Favorite line: "The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour." Just because I feel like this is something I would say in real life (I exaggerate 500% of my life).



EINTKILF originally comes from HelloGiggles and the hilariously fun Jess Tholmer

Part 1 found here.

1. You’ve never had a Lunchable. You think it will be delicious, but fear of weird rubbery cheese, sauce that tastes like candy and cardboard-ish pizza crust is holding you back.
2.  You aren’t totally sure you wanted a Lunchable in the first place.
3.  It’s breakfast time, so you were expecting a Toaster Strudel. Lunchable for breakfast sounds like a weird thing.
4.  You’re just not a Lunchable person. (And that’s okay, too.)
5.  You’re only excited because it’s free, not because it’s a Lunchable, and that in itself isn’t a good enough reason to take it.
6.  It’s poison. And you will die if you eat this.
7. You think there might be a Papa Murphy’s Gourmet Chicken Garlic pizza next week if you pass up this Lunchable now.

I will be the first to admit this show is, ehhhhhh, inappropriate sometimes.

But it's also so hilarious and true. And I've had like eight people ask me if I cut my hair to look like Zooey Deschanel (the answer is no, for the record, but I've also had another eight people tell me I look like her now), so that's a thing.

And Tumblr loves this show, so there are approximately a million GIFs out there.


So here are some of my favorite "New Girl" life lessons, explained in GIFs.

I'm currently reading a book called "Freedom From Fear Forever" after a friend lent it to me. Chapter 4 is all about recording life's most successful moments (the author calls them WINS), and Chapter 5 is about reliving and harnessing that success-driven euphoria.

The author's mentor (who's advice the book is basically regurgitating) recommended that he write down his most successful WIN ever, and describe the WIN with as many details as he could. Then to reflect on that good day, good week, good experience, good opportunity, etc. whenever you feel yourself get in a funk or find yourself a little off course.

The mentor called this a talisman.

I had to laugh when I read that, because all I could think about was the movie Inception. Each character in the movie had a talisman or token that only they knew how it worked in the real world. It helped them keep perspective on what was the dream world and what was reality. And *SPOILER ALERT* we'll never really know if they were in the dream world or the real world because the stupid spinning top looked like it started to topple, but never actually stopped spinning before the screen went black because Christopher Nolan is an evil, horrible, terrible man who just likes to toy with my emotions.

But, the same basic principle applies here -- because, really, at the end of the day, there probably aren't words to describe exactly why that made you happy or exactly how you felt during that WIN, so nobody else will truly know how your WIN impacted you.

Now, I'm all about living for now and not letting your past decide your future, but I totally see the value in harnessing that natural high from a great experience.

My mom is wise. My entire life, any time I have a bad day, she'll say something along the lines of, "Guess what. You'll have bad days. You'll also have really great days. If you didn't have bad days, those good days wouldn't be as good. So when you have a good day, really live it, and take advantage of that joy. And when you have a bad day, remember those good days and look forward to your next really great day to counteract the bad day you're having now."

Something like that.

Basically, she's a genius. And the best.

Last night, I wrote this on my chalkboard in my bedroom.


So now I'm working on finding my ultimate WIN / token. Suggestions are welcome.

Who knows. Maybe it's lipgloss.





... It's probably lipgloss.

Here's a list of the most random things in my Google Search history from the last couple months or so:

• "Sophie's Choice"
• when can you see Cassiopeia constellation
• Pablo Picasso's granddaughter artist
• How high do airplanes fly
• Best brand of blacklight nail polish
• Watch Whodunnit in Canada
• Best sans serif font
• Mayan ruins Belize
• Goo Goo Dolls lead singer
• Ted's Bakery chocolate haupia pie recipe
• Official language of Puerto Rico
• Mac keyboard shortcut for copyright symbol
• Mountain man Timpanogos legend
• peduncle
• 45 credits on iStock is how many dollars
• Cocoa Bean MTC delivery
• Will Jada divorce

This list makes me look ADD, but I have a (sort of) valid reason for each of them. Except maybe the Will and Jada divorce question.


Your turn.
www.google.com/searchhistory

Buzzfeed posted a video of 24 Things To Do Before You Turn 30.  Here's their list and my thoughts on each of them.

• Spontaneously cut off all your hair.
• Nope. I love my hair too much. Even the girl in the video can tell this was a terrible idea.

• Take up some spiritual practice.
• Done.

• Become friends with your parents again.
• After my hour of FaceTiming my dad on Tuesday night and , I think I can cross this one off, too. Although was I ever not friends with my parents?

• Say hi to a large tortoise.
• We saw a giant turtle on the beach in Hawaii, and swam with a couple. Does that count?

• (Also - learn how to spell tortoise. I was so wrong like three different times, spell check couldn't even figure out what I was trying to say. UGH.)

• Go hard in vegas for 24 hours.
• No thanks. But I have been to Vegas for 24 hours for a bachelorette party, so we'll count that.

• Catch a huge fish (so you can brag about it forever).
• YES.

• Go on a long road trip with people you love.
• Well, I went to Oahu in May with friends, we've got a St. George trip in the works, and Maui trip on the backburner in 2014. I think those count.

• Learn how to cook at least one fancy dish.
• I can make quiche and creme brulee? Clearly, my idea of a fancy dish means something French.

• Find something you are really good at.
• Still working on this. Suggestions are welcome.

• Move to a new city.
• I moved to DC for a summer, I moved to Sacramento right after graduation, and I moved to Salt Lake for work. Check.

• Pee in every ocean.
• ... Let's just say swim in every ocean.

• Give one great speech at a friend's wedding.
• Start getting married, people. ;)

• Start a collection.
• Meh. Fine. Again, suggestions appreciated, because I don't really care about this one.

• Light fireworks in a baseball field.
• Well, if people would stop asking me how old I am and let me buy fireworks, this could happen.

• Go sailing.
• Who has a boat and wants to take me this weekend (or every weekend for the rest of the summer)?

• Make friends with people at a bar for one night.
• Maybe not a bar, but I'll be friends with strangers at a party for one night. Actually, I've done that!

• Learn a foreign language.
• Deal.

• Stop dressing like you’re still in high school.
• I hope I've conquered this.

• Take a spontaneous trip.
• I definitely think I've conquered this.

• Yell at a sports game.
• Um, only every sports game I go to.

• Get a tattoo about something random.
• I can hear Fat Amy in my head saying, "Mmmmm... Better not."

• Let go of your expectations.
• A work in progress.

• Stop doing things for the pictures and start doing it for the memories.

And here are my other personal pre-30 to-dos:

I shouldn't complain - it's much better than looking like I'm 45, but it makes my life pretty comical sometimes. And I feel like it happens way more frequently than it should.

I am young, yes. I am also petite. And I have no problem with either of these things, most days. I love being young. It's way more fun than being old (Question mark? It's not like I'm speaking from personal experience, I'm just guessing here).

But looking like I'm 15 isn't always ideal when you're not actually 15 and most of your friends are haven't been 15 for like a decade (and then some).

For example:

• When I checked out "He's Just Not That In To You" from the local library, the lady at the front desk asked if I was doing a book report. As in, for school. Like, high school. Seriously, lady?!?
• When I was buying fireworks for 4th of July, the cashier asked how old I was. (Side note: you only have to be 16 to buy fireworks in Utah.) GOSH.
• My friends and I went to Disneyland a few months back and a worker came and asked us to fill out his customer service survey. When he asked our ages, my friend said, "Four guests between ages 25-40.... Oh wait, no, three between 25-40, one in the 18-25 range." SMF.
• When distant cousins at family reunions think I'm actually the youngest sister  (I'm 4 years older than my youngest sister). Luckily, my 15 year old brother wasn't there to throw anyone off even more.

To perpetuate my own problem, a couple weeks ago, I accidentally said something about Young Women's instead of Relief Society. That was embarrassing.

This is what our society has come to.

Social media has been expoding since the movie premiered on SyFy last night.

"Sharks. Tornado. Nuff said."





A coworker of mine saw it last night and said it was actually entertaining.

.... This is a very real thing that people are really excited about!

What.


... I will never understand this.

And yet I'm seriously considering incorporating this in to my Shark Week 2013. Also I'm hoping it comes to Redbox or Netflix. For anyone who has SyFy, please watch it for me and tell me why this is a thing.

WHAT IS LIFE.

I need to go watch The Bachelorette. That is more slightly real than this.

It's always funny to me when people scroll through my iTunes. My default setting is songs, organized by artist alphabetically, and there are a couple artists who's section seems to go on forever.

Here's what I mean.

And this isn't even all of it. I have three more albums after all this that didn't fit in the screenshot.

Sheesh.

So, I think I like Coldplay just a little bit? And if you need anymore proof, this might do the trick. (PS that was still hands down the greatest concert I've ever been to)

Here are just a few of the lessons I've learned from their songs.


Just because it makes sense doesn't mean it's meant to be, and just because it's not meant to be doesn't mean it's easy to end.
"The Scientist"

Even as I typed that out, my brain is practically screaming, "But whyyyyyyyyyy?!??!? That's so dumb!"

Yes, yes it is. But cyclical behavior, solely because it's easy or familiar or comfortable, is never a good way to live.

Don't do things just because they make sense, but don't rule things out just because they're hard.


Ending a relationship can be infuriatingly hard.
"The Hardest Part"

Yep, it is the hardest part. Walking away from everything you built together, letting go, not being able to cry anymore, not having anything else to say.

Best part of this song: "The hardest part was letting go, not taking part. You really broke my heart."

Even when your heart is shattered, at the end of the day, things are still over and you have to move on. I had a situation recently where I wanted to keep telling him how much I hurt, I wanted him to really understand how I was feeling, how crappy he'd been to me. But at some point, I had to just sever everything and figure out how to heal on my own. And that sucked more than anything else.


You can be the center of the universe.
"Yellow"

Stars shining just for you? Naming a color just for you? Writing a song for you? Jumping across things? Drawing a line? Bleeding dry? (Okay, eww.) But really, whoever this person is (aka - Gwyneth?), is undeniably the center of the universe.


Sadness now can eventually lead to something beautiful.
"Every Teardrop is a Waterfall"

"Every siren is a symphony – every tear is a waterfall."

I am a firm believer than most pain and sorrow is only temporary, and can often times make you stronger and lead you to a better place, both spiritually and emotionally.

Because sadness brings you to a humble place and makes you more willing to change and improve. It makes you sincerely appreciate what you do have and learn from your experiences (if mistakes were made).

Think about how gorgeous waterfalls are, and how beautiful symphonies sound. Now, if all your tears are waterfalls, and every siren going off inside you is a symphony, we should be so excited to be sad!

Ha. Funny joke. Because no one ever enjoys being hurt or lonely or lost. But I do believe in opposition in all things. However hurt or disappointed or discouraged you feel now, when your happy ending does come, it will be that much sweeter.

Can I get an amen?


Live your life intentionally and fully.
"Strawberry Swing"

This song is exactly how I felt in Hawaii. Such a perfect day.

When things are great, and when you're really soaking up life and living fully, it doesn't matter what others are doing or if it's raining or , it feels like you're lighter than air.

Bonus favorite line (and basically Coldplay's life motto because it's repeated in like 9 of their songs): Now my feet won't touch the ground.


Sometimes life is just really hard, and you need to cry about it. But Chris Martin is going to try really really hard to make things better.
"Fix You"

Whether you've lost in life or in love, things are just really crappy sometimes. Heartbreak happens and disappointments come and loss is a very real emotion. It can be exhausting and overwhelming and consuming and then some.

Listen to this song any time you feel sad. You will most likely cry, but you will also most likely feel better, too.


Dreaming is important.
"Paradise"

That's it. That's all I got from this song. Also the music video taught me this song might actually be about an elephant girl?


If you're king, things can and will escalate very quickly.
"Viva La Vida"




Birds in Japan and China fly really really freakin' fast.
"Speed of Sound"

Huh?


You are a lot of things, and sometimes tigers sing about it.
"Clocks"

What?


But seriously - most of these songs make little to no sense to me -- they just sound pretty. Anyone else feel that way? Chris Martin, you are a mystery.



EINTKILF originally comes from HelloGiggles and the hilariously fun Jess Tholmer