So I've been thinking lately.
Actually I've been thinking about this for a while now. Ever since, eh, middle of last semester.

PR has done strange things to me.

Kind of like that song from Toy Story about the "Strange Things are Happenin' to Me" when Andy's room gets taken over by Buzz Lightyear stuff and replaces all the Woody Western-cowboy paraphernalia. That's how I've felt.

Since taking my PR and Comms classes, I've become sort of an introvert. I hang out with all these crazy social people and I just sit back and watch everything happen. Whereas last year I would have gone way out of my way to talk to anyone and everyone who looked even remotely fun. But this year is a totally different story. And I hate it. I wish I was the fun-loving awesome person I was last year.

And all of these crazy social people are stretched soooooooooo ridiculously thin it's kind of sickening. Like, all the people I know in the PR program, all the really prominent ones anyways, all the ones that are going to get the fabulous internships are
1) on the Executive Board of PRSSA
2) at least working in the Bradley Lab if they're not Account Managers too
3) full- or part-time interns
4) work in BYUSA, usually as Executive Directors
5) involved in approximately 87 other PR related things like newsletters or National Conference or National level PRSSA junk.
6) full-time students
7) {mostly} have some sort of employment

And I will never do all of those things at one time.

I struggled enough trying to balance school and PRSSA and being {halfway} involved in BYUSA & Bradley. And I was a nobody in all of those. I couldn't imaging holding any position of authority.

And part of all of this introversion may be due to the fact that I lost practically all of my friends aside from my roommates {stupid missionaries}. 

I'm also seriously considering dropping my dance class. Like I told my roommates, I've never apologized more in a two-hour period than I did on Monday. I was embarrassed for myself and how sucky I was. And it's not even like I'm only struggling with the new dances. Yes Mambo is freakishly hard, but I struggled with Foxtrot too. Which I shouldn't. I've done that in two previous classes. Also the bruises and broken toenails are really painful and starting to annoy me. And I can't even blame those on anyone else because I'm the one that keeps getting underneath everyone's feet.

Part of me is afraid that I'm just quitting. Like, in all honesty, school isn't hard for me. It never has been. And I like it that way. But really, this class SUCKS. And I'm not good at it. And I feel like I won't be, no matter how hard I practice. Maybe if I stayed in the class, I'd get to be really good at some point and I'd be really happy as an amazing dancer. {But really, who would I dance with?? None of the average Joes I associate with actually get up to these levels} But maybe I'd get a C in the class and be the most miserable person there. And I hate that those are two very extreme endings.

Both my mom and dad said, pretty much word for word, "Well, if there's not some cute boy you're staying in the class for, I'd get out now." Ha.

My dad was much more understanding about my dropping the class than my mom was. I think my mom thinks I can still do this. She's always thought I was a beautiful dancer. Which is a lie and has been for the majority of my life.

Ha. Happy week everyone. Hope yours is going a lot better than mine. :/