Here's a list of the most random things in my Google Search history from the last couple months or so:

• "Sophie's Choice"
• when can you see Cassiopeia constellation
• Pablo Picasso's granddaughter artist
• How high do airplanes fly
• Best brand of blacklight nail polish
• Watch Whodunnit in Canada
• Best sans serif font
• Mayan ruins Belize
• Goo Goo Dolls lead singer
• Ted's Bakery chocolate haupia pie recipe
• Official language of Puerto Rico
• Mac keyboard shortcut for copyright symbol
• Mountain man Timpanogos legend
• peduncle
• 45 credits on iStock is how many dollars
• Cocoa Bean MTC delivery
• Will Jada divorce

This list makes me look ADD, but I have a (sort of) valid reason for each of them. Except maybe the Will and Jada divorce question.


Your turn.
www.google.com/searchhistory

Buzzfeed posted a video of 24 Things To Do Before You Turn 30.  Here's their list and my thoughts on each of them.

• Spontaneously cut off all your hair.
• Nope. I love my hair too much. Even the girl in the video can tell this was a terrible idea.

• Take up some spiritual practice.
• Done.

• Become friends with your parents again.
• After my hour of FaceTiming my dad on Tuesday night and , I think I can cross this one off, too. Although was I ever not friends with my parents?

• Say hi to a large tortoise.
• We saw a giant turtle on the beach in Hawaii, and swam with a couple. Does that count?

• (Also - learn how to spell tortoise. I was so wrong like three different times, spell check couldn't even figure out what I was trying to say. UGH.)

• Go hard in vegas for 24 hours.
• No thanks. But I have been to Vegas for 24 hours for a bachelorette party, so we'll count that.

• Catch a huge fish (so you can brag about it forever).
• YES.

• Go on a long road trip with people you love.
• Well, I went to Oahu in May with friends, we've got a St. George trip in the works, and Maui trip on the backburner in 2014. I think those count.

• Learn how to cook at least one fancy dish.
• I can make quiche and creme brulee? Clearly, my idea of a fancy dish means something French.

• Find something you are really good at.
• Still working on this. Suggestions are welcome.

• Move to a new city.
• I moved to DC for a summer, I moved to Sacramento right after graduation, and I moved to Salt Lake for work. Check.

• Pee in every ocean.
• ... Let's just say swim in every ocean.

• Give one great speech at a friend's wedding.
• Start getting married, people. ;)

• Start a collection.
• Meh. Fine. Again, suggestions appreciated, because I don't really care about this one.

• Light fireworks in a baseball field.
• Well, if people would stop asking me how old I am and let me buy fireworks, this could happen.

• Go sailing.
• Who has a boat and wants to take me this weekend (or every weekend for the rest of the summer)?

• Make friends with people at a bar for one night.
• Maybe not a bar, but I'll be friends with strangers at a party for one night. Actually, I've done that!

• Learn a foreign language.
• Deal.

• Stop dressing like you’re still in high school.
• I hope I've conquered this.

• Take a spontaneous trip.
• I definitely think I've conquered this.

• Yell at a sports game.
• Um, only every sports game I go to.

• Get a tattoo about something random.
• I can hear Fat Amy in my head saying, "Mmmmm... Better not."

• Let go of your expectations.
• A work in progress.

• Stop doing things for the pictures and start doing it for the memories.

And here are my other personal pre-30 to-dos:

I shouldn't complain - it's much better than looking like I'm 45, but it makes my life pretty comical sometimes. And I feel like it happens way more frequently than it should.

I am young, yes. I am also petite. And I have no problem with either of these things, most days. I love being young. It's way more fun than being old (Question mark? It's not like I'm speaking from personal experience, I'm just guessing here).

But looking like I'm 15 isn't always ideal when you're not actually 15 and most of your friends are haven't been 15 for like a decade (and then some).

For example:

• When I checked out "He's Just Not That In To You" from the local library, the lady at the front desk asked if I was doing a book report. As in, for school. Like, high school. Seriously, lady?!?
• When I was buying fireworks for 4th of July, the cashier asked how old I was. (Side note: you only have to be 16 to buy fireworks in Utah.) GOSH.
• My friends and I went to Disneyland a few months back and a worker came and asked us to fill out his customer service survey. When he asked our ages, my friend said, "Four guests between ages 25-40.... Oh wait, no, three between 25-40, one in the 18-25 range." SMF.
• When distant cousins at family reunions think I'm actually the youngest sister  (I'm 4 years older than my youngest sister). Luckily, my 15 year old brother wasn't there to throw anyone off even more.

To perpetuate my own problem, a couple weeks ago, I accidentally said something about Young Women's instead of Relief Society. That was embarrassing.

This is what our society has come to.

Social media has been expoding since the movie premiered on SyFy last night.

"Sharks. Tornado. Nuff said."





A coworker of mine saw it last night and said it was actually entertaining.

.... This is a very real thing that people are really excited about!

What.


... I will never understand this.

And yet I'm seriously considering incorporating this in to my Shark Week 2013. Also I'm hoping it comes to Redbox or Netflix. For anyone who has SyFy, please watch it for me and tell me why this is a thing.

WHAT IS LIFE.

I need to go watch The Bachelorette. That is more slightly real than this.

It's always funny to me when people scroll through my iTunes. My default setting is songs, organized by artist alphabetically, and there are a couple artists who's section seems to go on forever.

Here's what I mean.

And this isn't even all of it. I have three more albums after all this that didn't fit in the screenshot.

Sheesh.

So, I think I like Coldplay just a little bit? And if you need anymore proof, this might do the trick. (PS that was still hands down the greatest concert I've ever been to)

Here are just a few of the lessons I've learned from their songs.


Just because it makes sense doesn't mean it's meant to be, and just because it's not meant to be doesn't mean it's easy to end.
"The Scientist"

Even as I typed that out, my brain is practically screaming, "But whyyyyyyyyyy?!??!? That's so dumb!"

Yes, yes it is. But cyclical behavior, solely because it's easy or familiar or comfortable, is never a good way to live.

Don't do things just because they make sense, but don't rule things out just because they're hard.


Ending a relationship can be infuriatingly hard.
"The Hardest Part"

Yep, it is the hardest part. Walking away from everything you built together, letting go, not being able to cry anymore, not having anything else to say.

Best part of this song: "The hardest part was letting go, not taking part. You really broke my heart."

Even when your heart is shattered, at the end of the day, things are still over and you have to move on. I had a situation recently where I wanted to keep telling him how much I hurt, I wanted him to really understand how I was feeling, how crappy he'd been to me. But at some point, I had to just sever everything and figure out how to heal on my own. And that sucked more than anything else.


You can be the center of the universe.
"Yellow"

Stars shining just for you? Naming a color just for you? Writing a song for you? Jumping across things? Drawing a line? Bleeding dry? (Okay, eww.) But really, whoever this person is (aka - Gwyneth?), is undeniably the center of the universe.


Sadness now can eventually lead to something beautiful.
"Every Teardrop is a Waterfall"

"Every siren is a symphony – every tear is a waterfall."

I am a firm believer than most pain and sorrow is only temporary, and can often times make you stronger and lead you to a better place, both spiritually and emotionally.

Because sadness brings you to a humble place and makes you more willing to change and improve. It makes you sincerely appreciate what you do have and learn from your experiences (if mistakes were made).

Think about how gorgeous waterfalls are, and how beautiful symphonies sound. Now, if all your tears are waterfalls, and every siren going off inside you is a symphony, we should be so excited to be sad!

Ha. Funny joke. Because no one ever enjoys being hurt or lonely or lost. But I do believe in opposition in all things. However hurt or disappointed or discouraged you feel now, when your happy ending does come, it will be that much sweeter.

Can I get an amen?


Live your life intentionally and fully.
"Strawberry Swing"

This song is exactly how I felt in Hawaii. Such a perfect day.

When things are great, and when you're really soaking up life and living fully, it doesn't matter what others are doing or if it's raining or , it feels like you're lighter than air.

Bonus favorite line (and basically Coldplay's life motto because it's repeated in like 9 of their songs): Now my feet won't touch the ground.


Sometimes life is just really hard, and you need to cry about it. But Chris Martin is going to try really really hard to make things better.
"Fix You"

Whether you've lost in life or in love, things are just really crappy sometimes. Heartbreak happens and disappointments come and loss is a very real emotion. It can be exhausting and overwhelming and consuming and then some.

Listen to this song any time you feel sad. You will most likely cry, but you will also most likely feel better, too.


Dreaming is important.
"Paradise"

That's it. That's all I got from this song. Also the music video taught me this song might actually be about an elephant girl?


If you're king, things can and will escalate very quickly.
"Viva La Vida"




Birds in Japan and China fly really really freakin' fast.
"Speed of Sound"

Huh?


You are a lot of things, and sometimes tigers sing about it.
"Clocks"

What?


But seriously - most of these songs make little to no sense to me -- they just sound pretty. Anyone else feel that way? Chris Martin, you are a mystery.



EINTKILF originally comes from HelloGiggles and the hilariously fun Jess Tholmer

Life is full of choices. These are just a few of the ones I make most days.

"Wake up, sleepyhead! Who cares that you only got in bed at like 2:45am, you're a grown up and you have a real grown up job.

To sleep through your alarm, again, and look like a drown rat at work, turn to page 6. 
To will yourself out of bed and into your bathroom to put in your contacts so you can start feeling like a human being, turn to page 7.
To wish you had someone to make you breakfast in bed, keep dreaming.

You got dressed, curled your hair, ate a somewhat decent breakfast (if peanut butter toast while driving counts as somewhat decent) and are out the door in a record-breaking 20 minutes. Nice work!

For your 25 minute commute to work, silence is not an option.

To flip between radio stations and risk commercials/DJ chatter, turn to page 12.
To rock out to that sweet new CD you downloaded yesterday on your iPod so you can perfect your American Idol-worthy talent, turn to page 145.

Guess what? The batteries in your iPod/car radio converter doo-dad are dead. Also your throat is still sore from belting the set list from yesterday's drive home. And because you will never buy batteries this century, radio it is.

The DJs talk incessantly. The Hollywood Sleeze and Famous Filth segments are the only things that keep you sane.

To take the freeway(s) to work, turn to page 37.
To take 7th in to downtown, turn to page 122. 

This is always the wrong choice. Of course, there are literally 3 accidents in the space of 7 blocks. People clearly do not know how to drive in this state.

You finally made it to the office.

To venture in to the work kitchen and sneakily hunt for snacks, turn to page 18.
To sit and listen to your stomach grumble all morning, because clearly peanut butter toast is not a real breakfast, turn to page 99.

It's Tuesday. Of course there are no snacks in the kitchen. Try again on a Thursday. Today is your unfortunate day to starve.

Once you finally settle in at your desk, it's music time.

To Spotify, turn to page 49.
To listen to iTunes, flip to page 66.

iTunes is usually a safe bet, but you end up listening to all your favorite iTunes songs on Spotify anyway because you love to a) read what your friends are listening to, b) show off your fabulous taste in music, and c) share the totally-applicable-to-your-life-right-now jam your enjoying at the moment and hope your friends are catching the message, too (I never do that, guys).

It's been a long, slow day at work.

To leave work early to take a nap at home, turn to page 55.
To stay until 5:30 because, well, who really knows why, turn to page 31.

Staying a little longer was a really smart idea. Some social media fires came up and you were able to tackle them right away rather than having to deal with it at home hours later when you finally get around to checking those emails. Gold star. You go, Glen Coco.

But now you're starving.

To pick up Pizza Hut on your way home from work because it's only $5.55 for a large one-topping pizza right now, turn to page 87.
To stop by the grocery store to get ingredients for one of your Pinterest recipes, turn to page 90.
To fend for yourself based on what is in your cupboard, turn to page 112.

Ha. That's funny. There's never any real food in your pantry or fridge, so your dinner consists of peas, a handful of pita chips, leftover pasta and melted cheese sandwiches **I literally ate this the other night.

To sit around the apartment with Emily, eating Ben & Jerry's and watching Modern Family/Seinfeld, turn to page 101.
To get your lazy I-hate-exercise butt to Zumba, turn to page 133.
To sit in your hammock on your porch with Emily and look out over your little piece of the world, turn to page 111.

You and Emily magically turned into the coolest girls in the ward overnight because, all of a very sudden, you're hanging out in the hammock, and one by one, all your favorite members of the ward either scale the balcony Flynn Rider style (without the help of giant blonde hair) or walk in your unlocked front door.

After a couple hours of laughing and crazy, embarrassing stories, everyone heads home.

To go to bed at a decent hour, turn to page 151.
To attempt to go to bed but actually play Candy Crush Saga for upwards of 2 hours in your room, turn to page 127.
To have an Emily-Haley debrief and discuss your individual interpretations of what the heck just happened, turn to page 97.

You decide to go straight sleep right after the crowd dissipates (you only got like 5 hours of sleep last night, remember?) and you are attacked and eaten by zombies because of course you are. That's just how all Choose Your Own Adventure books end."

Did everyone ever win these things??? Because I never did.